Fear of the Future: Why We’re Selling Everything to Become Nomads

Hi, I thought I’d focus on fear today — the fear of what the future may bring.

The reason I’m focusing on that is because, with some of the clips from this video, you’ll see Julie and I (that’s my wife and myself) just packing up and becoming nomads. It’s not the first time we’ve done it. We’ve done it a couple of times, and we’ve been here in Tasmania for five years, mainly because my elderly mother lives here (she’s now in an aged care facility). But now it’s time for us to branch out and be on our way.

We’ve sold everything. Furniture. Everything. We’ve still got a lot of stuff here to get rid of — we’ve put a lot up on Marketplace on Facebook — and we are ready to go and explore the world and really live life.

Freedom vs Security

Which is maybe not a big deal for some people. For others, it would be — especially at our age, as we’re getting older. Most people are retiring into a beautiful home that they’ve paid off. Retirement. Stability. Security, supposedly.

But I wonder how much freedom that actually brings. That’s what Julie and I look at: freedom. What does freedom mean to you, or to the average person?

For us it means just letting go. Letting go of possessions. Letting go of what is traditionally seen as security in a Western capitalist country like Australia, the USA, the UK and other countries — where it’s all about your possessions, how much money you’ve got, and how you’re going to go into retirement. And what about your health and being close to healthcare and all of those sorts of things?

I’m not minimising any of that. It’s just that for us it really means freedom. It means letting go.

Albert Camus — this is testing me — what did he say about freedom? Freedom should be such that the freer you are, it’s almost like an act of rebellion. And I think especially when you compare that to how most people live in modern Western society. Again, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just that it’s not for us.

How Do You Manage the Fear?

But how do you manage that? That’s what I think it’s all about. It’s accepting that it will be scary. Life can be scary. We’re presented with difficulties all of the time, and it’s how we navigate them.

That’s the message that I try to give across in the counselling that I do (which I’ve been doing for about 20 years now). I’ve had about 10,000 clients over 20 years, and there’s that common message: most people are stressed when they reach out. They’re anxious, they’re depressed — the whole range of things that we give certain titles to, like anxiety, depression, stress.

Really, it’s that fear that goes along with it. What will the future look like if I’ve just lost my job or I’m having financial difficulties?

Yes, it is normal to experience pain. But it is not normal to experience suffering. Suffering is the ongoing effects of whatever may be happening in our life at the time — job loss, relationship difficulty, grief, someone dies, an injury, a health issue. Yes, they can cause us a lot of pain. But it’s how we manage it and how we accept it and move on with life.

We Are Built for Safety

So what does that have to do with packing up and going? I guess it’s about being free of what are normal human emotions and reactions.

We are built for safety primarily. Our thinking brain is designed to problem-solve to keep us safe. Our body — our fight-flight-freeze response — is designed to keep us safe. If there’s danger nearby it kicks in and we run or we stay and fight, and often we have no control over that, because it’s just innate within us. We are built for survival.

But if you can learn to manage that problem-solving brain — that body that can overreact at times — the mind and the body trying to keep us safe, we can learn to manage that. And of course, that’s where I name that overactive mind as being the drama llama.

Because yes, it’s designed to keep us safe. So when we are going through difficulties in life — job loss, relationship difficulty, etc. (insert your difficulty here) — our problem-solving brain will jump in and try to solve it. Because if it can answer those 101 different issues that you’ve got at the moment (which may be associated with one topic such as a job loss or a relationship difficulty or a health scare), there’s that belief that if it can answer everything then we are going to be safer.

Which is ultimately what our purpose is for here as a human being: to navigate through life, ideally to get to the age of reproduction so that we can reproduce and keep the species going. That’s what it’s all about. We’re an animal just like any other animal.

Taming the Drama Llama

So we can manage the drama llama. It’s an acceptance that it’s going to be there — that we are going to go through painful moments in our life. But then, through strategies such as what I teach, we can decide whether we want to go on suffering or whether we can manage it better and choose options in our life that are beneficial for our overall well-being, despite what is going on around us.

That’s that process. That’s why I call it Tame the Drama Llama.

Over the years, with my experience and my own practice, I’ve learned to tame my drama llama. It’s always there.

My Own Depression Story

The dominant message I got when I was growing up was that I was fairly worthless. Very low self-esteem and self-worth, coming from a pretty abusive family. Basic needs met like food and shelter, but not a lot of love and not a lot of confidence-giving.

So when things go wrong in my life, it’s been more about hitting depression — which is a safety mechanism. If I shut down and “woe is me”, my drama llama comes out and says, “Mike, just keep a low profile. Nothing’s gonna work out for you. Life’s tough. It always has been tough. It’s always been insecure. So just lie low — almost like stay in bed forever and just order Uber Eats — and then you’re going to be safe.”

That’s how that logical problem-solving brain can react based on life experiences when things go wrong.

So I was depression. I was the depression story years ago — many, many chapters. But I have learned to manage that. Now when things go wrong, my own drama llama wants to come out and keep me protected: “See, I told you you shouldn’t have done that.” But I can manage it through that process and acceptance that this is what life can give us.

Choosing Freedom Anyway

So the thought of moving on, selling absolutely everything, travelling the world — not with a lot of money (it’s not because we’re fabulously rich or anything, but we will just make it work, Julie and I) — there’s lots of fears associated with that.

But that same process that has helped me get to where I am today, and be better able to manage that depression story or the stress story or the anxiety story (because all of those sorts of things hit us when we make major decisions in life), I’ve been able to manage that. And so that gives me that sense of freedom.

Because whenever I get hit by the drama llama trying to tell me, “It’s not a good decision. Why have you sold everything? That’s crazy at your age. You should be settling down, retiring, enjoying the grandkids,” it’s like… well, yes, there is that element of enjoying the grandkids. But there’s also a big element of “Wow — there’s a world out there.” It’s exciting. So many countries to visit and stay longer-term. Being more than just a tourist — be a traveller. Experience different countries. That’s what it’s all about.

We only have one life. Let’s maximise it to the best of our ability.

Where to From Here

The process that I teach — and of course you can download my quick guide on how to tame the drama llama — can be the first step towards taming your own fears and insecurities and anxieties and stress and depression, etc.

By incorporating those practices into my life… wow, the future seems amazing.

So this is what it looks like currently. Everything’s gone. Do you notice there’s no furniture? There’s no lounge or dining suite or TV. It’s all gone. And this will have to all go as well somehow. But we’re moving to a new place for a few months before we eventually get into that freedom that I’m talking about and exploring the world.

So there you go. That’s fear. Fear, anxiety, stress — and that’s one way that I manage it.

Talk to you again soon.